The other day I was shopping at my local grocery store, which has become surprisingly posh these last few years. They were giving out free samples of sweet-potato fries, coated and baked with this awesome tasty chili sauce. I ate some. They were darned good. So darned good that I asked for a jar of the chili stuff and planned on heading straight for the frozen section to grab the fries. I was all chattin' with the fry lady, who was particularly proud of the dipping sauce she'd made, mayo and more of the tasty chili, which I heartily enjoyed as well. So we're chattin' and I'm all "what is IN this nectar of the gods chili deliciousness?" And then I see it. Third ingredient. PEANUTS.
Anyone who's read this website before probably knows that I, Anna Gosline, am deathly allergic to nuts. But I really didn't want to freak out the lady. She was nice and blonde and happy. I wanted her to keep on having a good day. I wanted the thought that she just about killed me in front of the deli cheeses to never pass her mind. So I handed her back the jar and said "Oh, this has peanuts in it. I can't get any because my brother is allergic (LIE LIE LIE)." She replied, kindly, perky and concerned, "Well we're reformulating with cashews!" And I had to tell her that he (ME ME ME)) is allergic to them too. To which she said, all sad-faced, "poor thing, but you are sure lucky to have escaped it!" Cough. "Yeah." I snuck away, took two Benadryl and hoped I wouldn't fall asleep on the 6 minute drive home.
It's funny, see, all the press attention that peanut allergies get. Mars are spending MILLIONS of advertising dollars promoting their new Canadian bars are totally peanut-free. Which is cool. Nestle makes an assortment of Halloween candy (Smarties, Coffee Crisp, Kit Kat. Aero) that is likewise free of peanuts. It's been a long hard battle by folks like Anne Munoz-Furlong of Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network, to gain this ground. I salute people like her who have given us peanut allergy freaks the ability to enjoy our candy.
But what about us losers stuck with the multi-nut allergy, eh? An estimated 1.1% of Americans are allergic to peanut and/or tree nuts (almonds, cashews, walnuts etc). But just 0.3% are allergic to both - like ME! Of course then there are the weirdos like my brother, who can down a jar of peanut butter in 7 minutes but will blow up like a balloon at the first sight of a walnut. Go figure.
I just want to know how many more years it will take before all the nuts, either pea or tree, are considered equal. Both are lethal - some studies suggest that peanuts and tree nuts account for up to 90% of deaths by anaphylactic reactions - though peanut death is nearly twice as prevalent. Both are ground and buttered, used as fillers and thickeners in all sorts of places you wouldn't expect to find them - though peanuts, being cheaper, are used more often.
So yes, peanuts are the uber-killer, and have been granted their special status according. I guess I won't hold my breath until the lesser nut assassins make the grade. Though really, I should practice for all those times when my asshat brother breathes peanut breath on my face OR when my windpipe starts to swell shut after I eat someone's "there are no nuts in this, only almonds!" curry.
Did I mention that I hate snow, too?